Oh for Christ’s sake I cannot believe as I sit here typing this, full well knowing I’m going to fall into this message board response of a bear trap where HTM…Saleen…CL…Nick is concerned, THAT…I’m still gonna do it. I mean I really am bored and decided to myself…eh fuck it, but I’m literally punching myself in the leg telling myself to stop…but alas a couple drinks, a late night and well…maybe this should go down in the drunk post thread…hey now!
Anyway I honestly find a lot of Nick’s posts funny, both ha ha funny and awww I wish there was a shot for what he has….funny. I attest most of his posts are what he believes to be upfront and honest, even if they are from his “the world is flat perspective”, but… I appreciate that. If I’m telling the truth maybe I like to rubber neck and watch the car wreck that is about to ensue from the masses in response to his posts (shit myself included now… damn got me…again).
If you’ve been around the “boards” long enough (CP, CJ, TL…damn love those oh so cool acronyms) he is old hat and almost everyone has fallen into the NJ Shore quickSand (Tsettos for life… thank you Google for helping on the spelling of that gem). So kudos Nick your nightlife message board bed post notches of overall thread wins must abound! I know when I kick it and die I want to be remembered for interesting dance music topics ranted about on the internet (not saying I’m exempt…case in point), ongoing court cases in the ever so important club land landscape and poignant and critical career advice to the dance music community (albeit not taken or given recognition for)….you sir are the mother fuckin Tony Robins of the club world…fitting…see the name “Tony” is likened to Italian heritage…just saying…there must be bigger powers at work here…string theory even. HEY we do agree on a lot of live music baby…Floyd…fugetaboutet (I tried there).
Any who…as I sit here questioning my place in this vast universe I am troubled by the question that must puzzle so many other great scholars, scientists, thinkers…car sales men…WHY? Why in God’s green Earth would anyone…no seriously why would anyone go through so much effort to post the shit he has in the past 10…11…13 I don’t know how many years? Damn just writing this makes me want to stop, draw a nice warm bath and go down the street and not across the road on my wrists (I digress)….but the court cases & casinos and so much more…whoa…phew thank God for you because it has ultimately changed the course of my life over the years.
Dunno maybe my bad, but…..I geeeeeet it…but I don’t really geeeeeet it. Seriously you have to be BAAAAAANKING!!! I mean not living comfortably…as a lot of us are (sorry for the struggling peeps here), but HUGE….money in the mattress and walls….old school neighborhood dodging the IRS storing cash type shit…because with ALL…..ALLLLLLLL the advice and tips you have given…pointing out the short comings of businesses, DJs, VJs, Friends etc there HAS to be a windfall of CASH just laying around…like never have to leave the house if I didn’t want to…commit crazy crimes and pay officials off… type of cash….there is NO WAY…NONE….ZIP…ZILCH….NADA that you haven’t accumulated mass piles of cash for all your due diligence over the years on these here message boards….BEACONS OF ENLIGHTENMENT…catalysts of evolutionary…ok ok I’m going to stop it there…
BUT even with all that cash you are bathing in… I had an epiphany…possibly a regurgitated one or an often thought about one…Duuuuuude! You know THAT guy? Come on…THAT guy? There is ALWAYS one…no matter where you are…living…eat…shop…you’re bound to cross paths. Funny…I’ve coined this phrase years ago (see I can lay claim to shit too)…though it is possible others have come across it…perhaps by happenstance….”THE ONE UPPER”. Quick….Nick! Change your screen name….again. Let me explain…
Guy 1: “I can bench 235lbs 20 times”
Nick: “Yup…I bench 350lbs with my torn labrum 40 times whilst drinking water and throwing my voice 20 yards…AT…THE…SAME…TIME….Google it”
Guy 1: “Oh man I just played the best over 35 game of softball in my life…went 3-4…2 homers”
Nick: “Ya I play in an under 25 (I’m over 35) league went 6-6…pitched a no hitter…gave the Heimlich to a guy in the stands choking on a “Coney” and still had time to come home to research and post the most updated news on the latest Nocturnal Foreclosure…after which I scored 4 touchdowns in one game”
Guy or Girl 1 or 3…??? Whatever: “ Wow we were just on a plane and the turbulence was so bad that the plane dropped like 2000 feet in the air…air masks dropped…we were diverted to a crap city in Arkansas and had to slide down the inflatable slide to get out”
Nick: “Yay I can relate there was this one time I was on a plane in NY and there was trouble…the capt. was FREAKIN…he was old so I had to take over and land the plane in the Hudson…but it’s completely hush hush…as a restricted air Marshall on classified clearance we had to spin the story”
BUUUUUUUUT…..NO WORRIES though bro what’s great is you’re good…almost the archetype of ”ONE UPPERS”. I can imagine an old grandfather passing along his knowledge to you as a young boy…that’s just me thinking screenplay type shit…DON’T STEAL MY IDEA….its perm now that it’s on the net…right? I mean you would know.
What’s great is that I’ll prob wake up tomorrow and be like “aw hell WTF did I post” but that’s just one post…and fleeting….your posts…well that’s internet levity gold….stand up…(we know you will) be proud sir…my…ONE UPPER…will always be the model to which all other one uppers will be measured.
Bravo good sir…bravo.
P.S. Does this rant qualify for any comps? (By CL standards of course).
Ace of rants...