Miami night club news from the source

• Welcome to TNL - FAQ - All Members Read Updated 06/2017 •

Your source for autistic screeching.

Moderator: TechJunkie

Postby Dan on 14 Jun 2012 02:32

• Welcome to TNL - FAQ - All Members Read Updated 06/2017 •

Hi and welcome to Talk Nightlife.

This little post will serve as a quick FAQ to what goes on around here. As of late, people have left. Whatever, it's just the way things go sometimes. We'll update this when we update it. So, in spiffy random order, here we go.


I signed up but it says my account is not active, what's wrong?

You probably haven't been activated yet. For reasons of security the two site administrators vet all new members to make sure they are not spammers. Our automated functions don't stop spam entirely, so we have to manually check everyone. It's like a customs checkpoint.

Basically, there's cheap human spam teams in India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, the Philippines, Belarus, and China. Consequently we actually do not accept registrations from those countries. If you legitimately have something to say here and are in those nations, let us know and we'll get to you. Is there nightlife in Bangladesh?

How long until my account is activated? I'm very busy.

If you were very busy you wouldn't want to post here. TNL is a colossal time-waster. But if you insist, your account will be activated when it's activated. It's a human process.

I'm a promoter and want to promote here, can I?

Sure, just post it in the "What's Happening?" section. Yes, there's posts about events in the main nightlife section but that's just moderators being lazy. Post where you want, no one seems to notice. Real promoters go out and meet people anyways.

Again no one gets paid to work on this site, so it's kind of a volunteer effort. Oh, and don't expect any favors if you are a promoter.

I want to buy an ad in one of those banner ad spaces, how do I do it?


Our ad packages are surprisingly affordable. Click here to download our latest advertising guide. We can also do custom campaigns for you.

If you are a legit charity that we can ethically support, we'll do it for free or trade.


Attention Attorneys! Read This!
I got offended by something posted here, can I have it removed?

Absolutely not. Grow a pair and deal with it. It's a free Internet. Take it up with the person who posted it if it offends you that much. Start a dialog with them. It's what the site is for. All posts are the property of their authors unless otherwise cited. Talk Nightlife has no responsibility with regards to the content. We're not the police or your mother. If we were your mom though, we'd probably give you up for adoption. If it's really that much of a problem, we also suggest you "man up" and agree to meet one of us in person. FYI, the one guy who might show up is is a hard pill to swallow.

That ain't changing either.

Who's behind all this?

Pod. Techjunkie makes it go.

How long has TNL been around?

Since late 2007. Before that, the lot of us were on another site. We had a disagreement with them, so we left and started this.

What is the purpose of TNL?

Nightlife and entertainment gossip generated by you, the user. And the occasional slice of real information. We figured out no one cares about party listings or DJ set lists, they only care about gossip, so that is what you see here. It's the first community-run nightlife resource in the world.

We're a wretched hive of scum and villainy that has been compared to the Miami chapter of a bona-fide hate site. We have our dislikes, and it may or may not be you. Post and find out. Or don't post. Doesn't bother us either way.

You guys all seem to know each other, do you?

For the most part we live in Miami and the surrounding areas. We do all know each other. There is a cabal. Most of us have families and shit now so we don't go out.

Is there an app or a mobile version of the site?

There's a mobile version of the site, but it only looks right on an iPhone or a Droid. Just type the normal URL and the site detects your device. Nifty trick, it's only been around for seven years. We don't bother with BlackBerry handhelds since they are outdated. Besides, if you have a BlackBerry you probably have a "real" job and shouldn't be posting here using your employer's resources. Unless you are the employer. In that case, do yourself a favor and get an iPhone.

BB is no longer a factor and everyone has iOS or Android phones.



I met some guy handing out TNL cards and taking photos. I thought you guys didn't do outreach like that?

The guy with the Canon at Space, right? No, not that one, the other one. Yeah, that's Pod. He's been around for a minute. We like him and he likes us. Flip the card over, the photos are on that site. And get him a drink. He's only drinking vodka on the rocks these days. Apparently his LFT came back and it was pretty bad. And pure sobriety frightened him even more so he reached a fair compromise, we think.

Pod really doesn't do nightlife photos anymore. It was a good run though huh? Late 1990s til about now. If you see him with a camera in a club, it's something else.

He's doing backend stuff involving wires and radios and video systems for nightclubs.

He still does take photos though.

If the site doesn't make any money, how do you get all those nifty photos on the sidebars?

That's a separate operation called See Nightlife.. It's just a site that displays photos and the photographer arranges his own pay with the clubs. He's nice enough to let us have a syndication sidebar. In return we tell people what a terrific guy he is.

Seenightlife is still up but it's more of an archive. Go look and remember when knights were bold and maidens were fair. Or when maidens were bold and knights were fair. Well, no one likes knights and maidens. That's all serfdom and we fought a war over that a few hundred years ago. Fuck 'em.

Yeah, about those photos, I didn't see the one I was in? I swear he took it.

He only takes photos of cute club dancers, DJs, and some of his friends. And abstract crowd shots. And that one photo of Vince Neil. So you either have to be a cute club dancer, a DJ, Vince Neil, a friend of his, or something abstract. Our suggestion is pretend you are a taco or something. Get creative. He's not a social media-style photographer, he's too old school for that. If you want yourself on Facebook, use your iPhone. You do have an iPhone, right?

If you're asking about a nightlife photo taken within the past 7 months, it wasn't Pod. You really should lay off the drugs. If it was something before, unless he knows you, it's never coming out of the archives.

In one of those photos...

Stop asking about the photos. Besides it's 2017, you should have an nth generation smartphone that will take your own photo very well thank you.

OK. Hey, the site is down, when will you be back up?

If you are reading this, the site is back up probably. Unless Google cached this page. We're on Mediatemple now and it rarely goes down though.

I forgot my password, can you reset it for me?

There's a reset function but if it's been a decade or two since you updated your profile with a current email address, we can reset the password for you. Drop us a line and tell us what you want it to be. "Kitty" usually works really well.

Do you guys do link exchanges?

Yeah, but we'd have to really get something out of it. Cars, trucks, trips to Key West, ammunition, wine?

Do you guys do social media?

"Do" as in have a presence? Yeah we do. We're on Facebook, Twitter, and even Google Plus. We usually try to update all three once a week. We're just not big social media people, for the purpose of TNL at least. It really doesn't get updated since we just bitch and moan all day and don't go out. Have you seen it out there lately? Aside from a few standout events at places like Heart, Cash Only, and ORA, it's pretty ghastly out there, if you're into dance music. If you're into other things, there's probably something out there. Google is your friend. Don't ask us, we'll just scare you off like the deplorables we are. Apparently there were women here once. Pod sure as shit doesn't remember them. So there probably wasn't.

http://facebook.com/talknightlife
http://twitter.com/talknightlife
http://instagram.com/talknightlife

Now, do we have Facebook Connect or any of those other OAuth linkages? Nope. You gotta sign up here the old fashioned way. One more password won't hurt. We suggest "kitty". It's super easy to remember and no one will guess it. And, fact is, we want a barrier to entry to make it a little difficult for the less literate to post. We want your gossip and scandal and general good humor but not if it resembles something out of a Facebook posting.

I'm looking to get my material published here, can I?

Sure, just sign up, and when your account is active, post away. We're not a blog, we're a forum, so you can post what you will. Let freedom ring. Bear in mind you might get shouted down. That's not censorship by the way. Stick up for yourself.

I'm an investor/VC type of guy. This looks like a good investment. How about it?

Make us an offer. We might give you the whole kit and caboodle.

Do you guys like Macs?

Yes, yes we do.

You know there's a new version of phpbb, right?

Good to know, we'll upgrade at some point.

Hey, look at that, we upgraded! 3.0.11 here we are.

OK I still want to sign up, what should I do after my account finally gets activated?

Introduce yourself. Tell the community what you're all about. Do you work for a club? Do you just go out and have fun? Are you a paid spokesperson for Live Nation? Are you one of Pod's friends? Well, Pod got married and scared away most of his friends with his borderline-anarchist rhetoric, so if you say you are a friend of his we'll know you are lying. Did you post on one of the old sites and finally resurface and end up here? What's your story? Tell the community. The more open you are the less mean they will be. Trust us.


Do I really need to watch "Hunt For Red October" to participate?

Yes - otherwise you will be lost. Watching Seinfeld helps, too. And Walking Dead. And Game of Thrones. And the Inbetweeners. The itinerant UK observers should appreciate that.

OK, you say "drop us a line", how do I do that?

Fucking email us I guess?


Thanks for your time.

Sure thing. Now go post something.


emergency powers clause - we do what we need to to preserve TNL. Deal with it. At the end of the day we know what's best for you.
EPC Status: Invalidated by the reforms of 2017
Dan
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Postby Bling on 14 Jun 2012 12:44

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

nice lol cover all the bases
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Postby coach on 14 Jun 2012 13:00

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

You finally got over your antisocialism?
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Postby The Honky Tonk Man on 14 Jun 2012 13:37

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

What the hell is this shit? Pod you've gone corporate on us!
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Postby pod on 14 Jun 2012 13:41

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

The Honky Tonk Man wrote:What the hell is this shit? Pod you've gone corporate on us!


I got lazy and sick of answering the same questions over and over again. Problem solved.

I'm not corporate. I don't and never will own a BlackBerry phone.
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Раз, два, три!

Postby The Honky Tonk Man on 14 Jun 2012 16:20

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

pod wrote:
The Honky Tonk Man wrote:What the hell is this shit? Pod you've gone corporate on us!


I got lazy and sick of answering the same questions over and over again. Problem solved.

I'm not corporate. I don't and never will own a BlackBerry phone.



Aren't we approaching the point where hipsters will want BBs because they are rare?
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Postby pod on 14 Jun 2012 16:24

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

You make a valid point. They'll buy BBs for the rarity and irony value.
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Postby Kamen on 14 Jun 2012 17:40

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

pod wrote:You make a valid point. They'll buy BBs for the rarity and irony value.



BB's are already retro cool.

It says I have a real job with health insurance and retirement benefits and that I can afford to buy a house and a car.
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Postby pod on 14 Jun 2012 17:53

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

Not necessarily. You can get BBs "in the wild" at any mobile phone outlet. They're just commodity phones now.

I use iOS devices and I have health insurance and a Swiss bank account. My retirement plan is the Presidential pension of $400,000 a year for life.
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Postby Sobeking on 14 Jun 2012 21:06

Re: • Welcome to TNL - TNL FAQ - New Members Read •

Good information....at least you were honest...you are up grutmans a$$ since thats where you would spend your money....
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